Everyone Is Scared To Perform

So my last post got me thinking.  There are times when I feel like writing something deeper than just status updates on the blog here.  Not nearly as many people read these as watch the lessons, so I haven't made a point of writing posts like the last one very often.

But I think I'm going to start.  Because there are some things about playing guitar that I think need to be said and maybe some people will 'get' what I'm saying.  If not, the free lessons link is right at the top of the page :-)

And as always, you're free to discuss any of these posts using the nifty comment system at the bottom.  But now onto the topic at hand.....

Performance Anxiety

So this summer, Guitar Center announced another King Of The Blues contest.  I usually just ignore contests like this, but I had a couple of people ask me if I was going to enter.  The more I thought about it, I couldn't stop asking myself the following question:

"I know I don't want to enter, but why?"

My list of answers went something like this.

• I'm too busy.
• The nearest Guitar Center is over an hour away.
• There are probably enough Stevie Ray Vaughan 'clones' in this contest already.
• I don't like 'competition' in guitar playing.
• It's just an ego trip anyway.
• I'm scared of being judged and not being the best.

Wait....what?  Where did that last one come from?  Sure enough.  At the bottom of my list of excuses was the same old fear that made me barely able to function as a normal human being before my very first gig over 10 years ago.

The thing is, I've gotten over stage fright many times.  Each time I have a significant amount of time away from the stage, getting back up there is always a bit scary.  But once I did it a few times, my confidence would come back, and everything was cool again.

But a gig is not competition.  And the thought of competing was a new kind of nervous.

Gut-Check Time

The thing about me is that I can't stand doing something for the wrong reasons.  I dislike lying to myself about my motivations even more.  So in my newly enlightend state, I knew I had to try. For better or worse.

So I drove to Guitar Center in Harrisburg, PA and put my name on the list.  Then for the next two weeks I played nearly every day getting my hands back into shape.

Facing The 'Stage'

I was nervous all day.  The kind of nervous that keeps you from being yourself all day.  Scenarios kept running through my mind.  What if every other player is so much better than me?

Let me just stop and say that I am fully aware of how ridiculous that must sound to those of you who have been watching and buying these lessons for any amount of time.  You all say some amazing things about my playing, and I'm very thankfully for it.  But like many people, I'm my own worst critic, and I always imagine the worst happening, so in my mind, it was like I'd have to face Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Mato Nanji, and Philip Sayce in the very first round.

Let me just get right to the point here.  There were 8 of us competing that night, and some of the guys had been playing for less time than I have.  As I watched, I could spot the rough edges, and remembered how I found my way out of those things.  And like me, most of them seemed a bit nervous to be competing.

But you know what?  They did it anyway.  And so did I.

In spite of how good or bad they thought they were, they took the risk and put their name on the list.  They brought their guitar and stood 3 feet in front of 3 judges and about 20 other people and did their best. 

When I finally did play, my strings were too slippery, my action was lower than I remembered, and a couple times, felt like I had lost my way.  And it didn't seem like anyone was terribly impressed when I was done.

But I had done it.  So in some way, I felt like I had accomplished what I came there to do. Despite my best intentions, I didn't play like I am sometimes capable of.  In that way, I had failed.  But at least I was in the game and swinging.

Swing The Bat

I heard a great story once about a boy who was told that baseball is about swinging the bat, not simply letting the pitcher walk you. Even if you strike out.  You can't hit if you don't swing.

The truth is you might sound awful.  You might make a more experienced guitar player cringe at how many  mistakes you're making.  But one thing is true.

You'll never be good enough to not be scared of performing that first time.

Maybe there's a local jam session you could at least watch.  Maybe you could start a band.  I don't know.  It doesn't really matter.  I'm not telling you this because I'm a champion of not having performance anxiety.  I'm talking to you as someone who is worried about screwing up his solo while people are watching.  Right now, this contest, no matter how it ends up is a chance for me to get in the game and go down swinging.

Up Next...

I was happy to be named one of the winners in that first round and I'll be heading back on Sept. 10th for the store finals.  And I'll probably still be nervous.  And maybe I'll lose.  But I won't ever look back on this and say I wish I had at least tried.

Feel free to share your own stories of stage fright..... :-)

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